My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
