Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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