marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
