Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I had to cum in my sink.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
