there's paper in my vomit.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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