i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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