But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
ok first of all what the fuck
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
