if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
