her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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