We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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