The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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