who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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