hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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