Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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