I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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