Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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