I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
