Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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