I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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