Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
