Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
