imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
