Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
