This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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