I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
