She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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