i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
