Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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