so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I touched a dick in church today
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
