Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
