If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
