Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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