my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
