matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
