Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
