found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
