Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
