Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
