In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
