Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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