at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
