I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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