i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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