Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
