im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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