im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ugly people sure do ruin things
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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