i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
