halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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