Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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