I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
