Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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