And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
