me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
