Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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